你问我说：“为什么你没有大小姐脾气的？”
我都是笑笑的带过说：“因为我就是没有咯~”

其实我有，只是我舍不得将它发在你身上。
因为我心疼你在我发完脾气后会手足无措；
因为我担心我会无法控制的说出伤害性的话语；
因为我希望可以给你没有压力的归宿感；

因为我…… 有好多好多的事情愿意为你改。

又怎样了呢？我做到了什么？高估了自己的能力。
到头来只带给你数之不尽的麻烦与压力。
原谅我，因为我自卑了。

放肆的哭，像小孩一般的哭。
以为哭了，一切就手到擒来；
以为哭了，就有人来抱抱轻拍安慰。

人类就是如此犯贱，总爱自“以为”。

My clock displays 6.52am now. I haven’t been sleeping whole night long. Sitting alone in the living room, I feel so quiet and cold despite with the ceiling fan off. I feel like shouting to the air, telling the world that what I am thinking. I could feel the pain in my heart while my tears rolled down. My fingers shivered after typing every single key. I am so afraid to know that I am losing the thing that I never wanna lose when I open my eyes so I stay awake instead. Looking at the letters, browsing the blog posts, listening to the songs, reading back the e-mails and sms-es, the memories flashed back, so near yet so far, I just couldn’t believe that this is really happening.

And I am still sitting here, wishing for the miracle to happen. Is there a miracle?

p/s: I have deleted my Twitter account due to personal reason. I hereby apologize to my precious followers.