I know I have better things to do rather than sitting here blogging. I do not dare to look to the left side of my desk because all my notes and text books are there, waiting for me to explore them. Last night I chatted online with a friend, she asked me what subjects I am taking this trimester. I told her, and she said it’s scary even by listening at the subject name. Sigh. Seniors told me that our subjects will be getting easier after we reached Delta year but that’s just bull shit. I don’t find them easier at all but they are just like Mars Language “火星文“ for me.

Electromagnetic Theory, Digital Image Processing, Telemedicine Technology and Multimedia Technology, why the heck am I dealing with this? Why are they so difficult to understand? Why are the lectures so dull? Why I still can’t catch anything even I tried? Why can’t I solve the tutorial questions by myself? Why do I always need to seek for help from others? Why do I need others to teach me what the lecturer had already taught in the class?

Have my first lab on the coming Thursday and I know IT WILL BE MY NIGHTMARE!!! Again! Why am I still not good in MATLAB after years of using it? WHY WHY WHY? I am so dispirited! I am so useless!!! And my greatest hobby is skipping class!!! Now my biggest wish is to quit Engineering! I wanna leave MMU if I can! Who is gonna understand my feeling? Who is gonna support me? People ask me to put more efforts and continue because this was my choice at first and I have 2 more years to graduate. Yeah, I made a wrong choice now and I am so dead! This is my life!!! :(

I am procrastinating now and I hate myself like this.

This is the novel I started reading last night, ‘Ties The Knot’ in Shopaholic Series. Becky Bloomwood is getting married. I wanna read myself to sleep every night from now on.

This post has nothing to do with the title. Just that I feel I should love myself more from now on instead of putting too much effort on somebody/something else. Others might tell you that they love you and will keep you accompanied all the time but at the end you will still find that you are the one who is always keeping yourself accompanied. Love yourself, just like I ♥ ME.

But I will always love you, YOU! *EYES ROLLING*

Yesterday was J card member day and I went there to do “window shopping”. Not planning to buy anything but I lastly bought something home. I am really not the kind of window shopping person because I am a minor shopaholic. :P Ok I was just kidding. I know how to control especially when I am *ehem* broke like now. :’(

I bought a LAVENDER pillow from AKEMI. I can haz a Lavender pillow!!! I know you wanna ask what the heck is a Lavender pillow. Erm.. It’s like a normal and comfy pillow with the dried Lavender buds in it. I really love the scent of Lavender and I think I would buy anything that is related to Lavender. And tell ya, my camera is Lavender in color! Haha! Yes Lavender is a color too! Call me Lavendy. :P

Besides, I bought few clothes from Padini and that’s all. I am so so so good girl if compared to *cough* other girls. Right? *don’t hit me”. :P

Another class at 6pm. I hope I won’t skip it. xD

此刻的心情十分负面，文章也难免。
看似每天快乐似神仙的我，其实一直都在压抑着。
明天有个功课要交，Group work。所以我死都要死出来。
两个小时前，开始翻阅着一本很厚的课本，希望从中找到一点线索；
两个小时后，还是一片空白。
记忆中的我，并不是如此的。
以前的我，不论学什么，都很快上手。
难道是我日渐退步，脑袋日渐退化了吗？
漫无目的的努力，不快乐！
一想到学业，就很烦！
就很想抱怨！
就什么都不想做！
我不想上课！
我不想读工程！
我根本不想当工程师！
我不想！
我不想！
我不想！

抱怨完毕，继续翻课本。
今天我很费~

After class, darlings and I went to AEON again for lunch. We wanted to have Old Town but Beng Wee suggested to go for her so called very-very-super-de-delicious Ramen. Since she was so excited about the Ramen, we decided to give it a try.

AJISEN RAMEN 味千拉面

While waiting for the food, I snapped some photos using my phone’s laobeh secondary camera. The lousier the camera, the better the portrait. Do you agree with me? Haha! No need to PS so easy sial~

Not bad right? :P

Beng Wee’s chicken ramen. RM12.80

My beef ramen. RM 18.90. I consider myself eaten a super expensive lunch and I shouldn’t eat for the coming 3 days. T__T Taste wise, so so only. I put a lot of chili powder thingy inside to make the soup taste spicy or else it is just, soup. =.=”’ It’s overpriced lah for me, a poor student. Spotted CARROTS and BEAN SPROUTS? Oh no~

Another thing I dislike about the restaurant is there were a lot of home flies flying around. Hmm.. :(

After eating, my fat darling who didn’t eat Ramen wanted to eat cheese tart. OMG she is so fat sial~
I had the green tea/mocha one. Mocha is always my favorite flavor when comes to desserts. *I want to eat Kampachi’s Mocha icecream* I want I want! I am fat! Haha!

I had a good day! Although I am falling sick.. Please don’t :’(

Currently I am looping the song ‘让我照顾你’ by 张芸京。

I have a lot of things wanted to write but I can’t.
I have a lot of things wanted to share but I can’t.
I know I might need to keep this as a secret forever.
I know it may not be a right decision but I don’t care.
Perhaps there’s no right or wrong.
Simple yet complicated.
Nothing is in discrete.

I like it, and I want it this way.

pkpkpkpkpkpkpk :P